Turn Off the Lights
by suspect tomatoes
Summary: It's just a commercial holiday. Valentine's Day one-shot.


**A/N: I have another one that's slightly more Valentine's Day-y. Soon, my friends. Also, I made a reference to something Adam thoroughly enjoys. If you spot it, Adam will still love me more than you. Just kidding! I don't know, you'll have my respect.  
**

Adam made sure to check the locks on the bedroom door before he dove into the closet to get all of the surprises he'd hid MacKenzie for Valentine's Day. He knew she absolutely detested the idea of celebrating a commercial holiday, but the fact remained that MacKenzie could not turn down the three things Adam got her: a Bruins jersey, chocolate and sex.

He pulled down the wrapped box he'd hidden behind his stack of wrestling shirts and headed back into the bedroom to set it up next to the gigantic container of milk chocolate hockey pucks.

Chocolate hockey pucks. How could you not love her?

Adam felt his Blackberry buzzing in his pocket, so he fished it out as he put the present on the bed, checking the caller ID before pressing it to his ear. "Yeah?"

"Adam! It's Mike."

"Yeah."

"I need to know what you're planning for Valentine's Day."

"Excuse me?"

"Are you doing something romantic?"

"None of your business!"

Mike sighed angrily. "Adam. Seriously. I can't decide if what I'm doing is romantic enough."

Adam fell back onto the bed. "I'm getting Mack drunk while we watch the hockey game, then we're gonna fuck. There. Happy?"

Mike paused. "That's depressing."

Adam's eyes were closed, his fingers rubbing soft circles against his lids. "What is?"

"The evening you have planned."

Adam opened one eye. "Why?"

"Oh, I don't know. The lack of romance, maybe?"

"Have you known Mack to be romantic?"

"No, but dude! This is _the_ day to be romantic without looking like a tool. Why don't you live it up and get her a dozen roses or something?"

"Because that's lame, and Mack hates them."

"Well, get her something nice! A necklace?"

"She doesn't wear jewelry."

"Propose to her!"

Adam blinked. "Thanks for the brilliant idea, Einstein."

"Seriously! She'd flip."

"Yeah. Then we'd break up." Adam straightened. "Do you know how pissed she'd be if I proposed to her? Not only that, but on _Valentine's Day_? How cliché."

"Oh, fuck off. I think you should do something a little more special that beer and a hockey game."

"I'm Canadian, why would she expect anything more than that?"

"Exactly! She's _expecting_ that. So, if you do something completely opposite, she'll be blown away!"

"Thanks for the advice, Dr. Love." Adam's other line beeped. He checked the screen. "Hold on, Matt's on the other line."

"I gotta go, anyway. Ali's gonna be back soon. I need to make sure everything's perfect."

"Yeah, yeah. Good luck." Adam clicked the call button. "What, Hardy?"

"What are you doin' for Mack?"

"For what?"

"Don't be a dumb shit. You know what I'm talkin' about."

"Valentine's Day? I'm getting her drunk."

"Classy." He hung up.

Adam looked at his phone, frowning. But he shrugged it off, pushing it back into his pocket. It didn't matter. They could woo their girlfriends with flowers and serenading and pretty cards, but at the end of the day, he was the one who would prevail. He knew what MacKenzie wanted, and he knew when to give it to her.

He bit his knuckle.

She did like daisies, though.

He glanced back at the bed. Scattered daisies wouldn't be romantic. It would just be a nice gesture. She'd think it was adorable, especially hammered, and he'd get even luckier.

* * *

MacKenzie glanced at her watch, sighing irritably. "I need to go home, you jackass. Can't you hurry this up?"

"What color do you think Michael likes better?" Ali picked up a pair of blue socks. "Blue or green?"

"I don't _know_," Mack growled.

"Blue," Britt said. She nodded. "It'll compliment his eyes."

Ali nodded. "Now I just need to find him some spiffy jeans – "

"_Jeans_?" Mack groaned. "I can't stay here. There's too much love going on."

"Love?" Ali grimaced. "I just want him to look good."

"Fuck Valentine's Day, man." Britt shook her hair back. "I can't stand it. I just hope Matt doesn't have anything planned. I'll probably end up staying outside or playing with Lucas if he does. Romance makes me awkward."

"You too?" Mack scoffed. "I'm just glad Adam has the same brain as me. His idea of romance is getting imported beer and turning the lights off when we fuck."

Ali wrinkled her nose. "That's awkward."

"It's _perfect._" Mack waved her hand. "If he ever did something romantic, I'd probably get him committed."

"No shit, man." Brit laughed. "I just hope Matt isn't trying something out of control. He's so bad at it."

Ali gaped at them. "You guys are horrible!"

"I'm just realistic." Mack smiled.

Ali shook her head. "Well, if Michael has anything planned, that's sweet. Especially if it involves candy."

"Even candy!" Mack stuck out her tongue. "I don't know. It just... I like chocolate. That's about it."

"Why are you guys so bitter?" Ali picked up a pair of designer jeans and flipped them out. "I mean, I wouldn't really notice if Valentine's Day came and went, but if Michael does something nice, I'm not gonna punish him for it."

"I wouldn't punish Matt," Britt said thoughtfully. "I just wish he wouldn't do it because I hate romance."

"I'd punish Adam." Mack nodded. "I'd break up with him."

"What?" Ali tried another pair. "You're absolutely insane." She held them up. "You like these?"

"Michael would look cute in them," Britt put in.

"Okay, I wouldn't _break_ up with him." Mack shrugged. "But he'd be scolded for giving into commercial temptations."

Ali gathered up the stuff she got for Michael, shaking her head. "You're out of your mind."

"Aren't you used to it?" Mack glanced at her watch again. "I gotta get going. Hockey game's gonna be on in an hour."

* * *

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Adam tripped over an empty box of candles as he heard the front door slam.

"Adam?"

"Hold on!" Adam grabbed the garbage he'd thrown on the floor and looked around for a place to put it. He threw it into the closet and shut the door as MacKenzie came toward the room.

"Adam, where are you?"

Adam fixed his tie and ran his fingers back through his hair, waiting by the door. "In our room, babe!"

Her shadow passed in the crack and then the knob turned.

He smiled when she blinked at him. "Happy Valentine's Day, baby."

MacKenzie looked at the bed behind him. "You're wearing a tie?"

"Yeah."

She came farther into the room, sniffing at the candles everywhere. "I can't fucking see anything."

Adam looked away, then back at her. "That's... Do you like the candles?"

"A bed of _roses_, Adam?" Mack picked up the petals, letting them fall from her palm. "Have you been listening to Bon Jovi?"

"I – " He frowned. "You don't like it?"

Mack grimaced. "It's nice... "

"Oh, goddamn it." Adam sat down on the bed. "I knew you wouldn't like it. Why did I let everyone get to my fucking head?"

"Who got to your head?"

"Michael and Matt. They were saying today was the one day I could be romantic and get away with it."

MacKenzie frowned and sat next to him, turning his sad face with her hands. "When can you _ever_ get away with romance with me?"

Adam groaned. "I knew I shouldn't have done all this." He looked at her. "Sorry, babe."

"I appreciate the effort," she said weakly.

"That's bull shit."

Mack laughed slightly, kissing his ear. "I like you in a tie. Does that help?"

"Not really."

"Well. What if I took it off?" Mack smiled, gripping the fabric tightly.

"Already?" Adam grinned. "I was supposed to get you drunk first."

"How romantic."

**A/N: I wish I had beer and a hockey game. Review.**


End file.
